Oh Snap!

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Oh snap! It’s my brand-spanking-new photography website! And it has a clever wordplay in the URL just like the title of this blog post… What a treat!

Feast your eyes upon www.claudiapic.com

Here’s my pitch:

Do you have an appalling LinkedIn profile pic of you draping yourself over a work colleague (tastefully cropped out) in a shiny paper party hat while clinging onto a glass dirtied with the remnants of a piña colada? Call me for a headshot.

Are you a brilliant actor, singer or dancer who has been photographically jibbed up until now? Does your agent constantly say “For the love of all things holy, Susan! Get a decent gosh darn headshot instead of this headsh*t!”? Call me for a headshot session, Susan.

Do you own, or have designed a house or building that deserves to be immortalised and publicised? A structure that demands documentation, so that it may finally bathe with its peers in the lofty glory that only the architectural works of Rem, Zaha and Frank have known until now? Call me for shoot.

Does your pet blow your mind? Ever wondered why none of your friends can see why? Put an end to all those underwhelming ‘doesn’t-do-fluffy’s-good-looks-any-justice‘ images that you keep posting online: The ones with the ill-placed shadows and out-of-focus stares. Stop being a tightass and invest in what you love. You need to call me.

Do you have a rock on your finger that’s weighing down your hand like your inability to decide on a sensational wedding photographer is weighing on your conscience? Call me, and let’s do this romance thing right.

Call me Claudia, call me Claud, call me Thedarclaud, call me whatever you like… just make sure you call me. Actually, it’s just email listed on the site, so do that. It’s the 21st century for heaven’s sake.

P.S. Can you believe the freaking Golden Gate Bridge shot with the bird?! That thing is straight-off-the-camera, no editing, right-place-right-time, mother-nature-meets-engineering-masterpiece, pure photographic glory. I may never take a better photo than it in my life. Fact.

Winning Wiggler

There’s no firm (ha) excuse for this gratuitous (or should I say gratuit-ass) bot-bot video, but hey – it’s a teaser. And it’s my bot-bot. And my movie. So please, enjoy.

… I promise there’ll be a real trailer shortly. And a real movie too.

In the meantime, check out the Winning Formula facebook page for updates.

Froyo Hands In The Air

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… and wave ‘em like ya just don’t care!

This video fuses the summer’s hottest soft-serve delight with the aggression usually only reserved for urban street fights.

Here’s what the critics are saying:

After originally forming as a late 90’s underground Froyo movement, The Ice Kold Crew rose to prominence in the Los Angeles rap scene for their EP titled ‘Soft Serve Swerve (cum get sum)”. The much anticipated single “FroyOG” is the first from their studio record “Drip Drip Boom”, set to be blowing up the nation later this year.

An immediate hit, this jam features the smooth flow of foxy blonde Zana Lantana, an Australian hip hop artist said to have been the inspiration for Iggy Azalea’s latest album “The New Classic”, while the lyrical poetry of LL Chilli Swoop, OG Yogi and Chubb E Lumpkinz give us exactly what we expected: Solid Gold.

Open wide and get a mouthful of these infectious beats.

It’s ice cold. Enjoy.

Some may say that Zana Lantana’s rap is about twice as long as it should be. And to those people I say this: Probably.

Thanks to the Nash fam for the delicious title of this post. You guys are poets.

Thanks also to all the legends who made this video possible: Namely LL Chilli Swoop, OG Yogi, Chubb E Lumpkinz, Lance the Dance, Jonny Z, Travis, Pru, Klaus, Tow, Holly… and all those unnecessarily tolerant people at Yogurtland on La Brea and 3rd, Los Angeles.

Have You Been Working Out?

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… ‘Cause you’re looking buff!

(CLASSIC GAG.)

The portable piece to match the Flatiron mural is complete! The background is an abstraction of a section of the Colorado Rocky Mountains, and creeping in from the left there is an American Buffalo/Bison. The ‘canvas’ is birch wood (takes me back to my architecture university days of model making!), so it took a little bit of extra priming. Big ups to Klaus who collaborated with the taping, geometries and colour advisory… And also helped me with the opening gag for this post.

Let it be known that the proceeds of this work is directly funding the software with which I’m writing my next screenplay. Literally, art for art’s sake. It’s like that movie ‘the human centipede’ – except without all the people dying. Maybe it’s more like an arty ecosystem. I think I should buy a felt hat. Or grow out my armpit hair.

Did I mention the house this work is for is in an area called Cow Hollow? Bovine coincidence? I think not.

Wait! I’ve got one more:

Q. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school?

A. Bison.

Gold.

Painty Pointy Precipice

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I was commissioned to paint this mural for a house in Cow Hollow. The request was for the image of a Bison as a tribute to Boulder, Colorado (and which I also thought was appropriate considering the mural’s location).

Enlisting Klaus, we set about taping up and painting an abstract version of the Flatirons rock formation for the background. I then-

Nope. No, I then did nothing else.

I intended on drawing a giant Bison on this chunk of dining room wall, but never got the chance. It seems our patron was so pleased with the work, that he wanted us to leave it as-is, and paint him a separate artwork that is in keeping with the theme, but one that he can also take with him when he moves out of the house one day. How good is that? Keep ‘em peeled for part 2!